Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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