so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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