I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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