Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
