Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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