just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
