in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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