oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
