that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
