Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
