Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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