Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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