Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
