He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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