Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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