I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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