I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Man, jail baloney is awful.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
