i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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