I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
