We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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