think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
