So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
