Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have feelings that need drinking.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
