If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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