remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
