she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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