This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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