i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
