I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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