Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
