i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
