she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
