what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
