I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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