drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
