I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
