Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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