whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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