I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
