By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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