The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
