The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
