Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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