we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
