singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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