i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
