im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
