Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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