id be glad to
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
