You're so nebulous sometimes
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
