I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
