If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize