put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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