Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
