she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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