i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
