So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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