I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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