someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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