I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize