I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
