I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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