ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
