I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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