I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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