i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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