oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
