i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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