I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
