Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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