Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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