Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
