If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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