google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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