I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
