Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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