I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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