It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
