She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I would fuck him just for his dog
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
