If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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