yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
even my farts smell like vagina
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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