WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
