Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize