Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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